What Is A Healthy Relationship

The Law and Consent:

• If anyone proceeds, or continues, in any sexual activity without consent then this is a criminal offence.
• If anyone continues with sexual activity without consent, this is not just illegal but violates the other person’s rights and is likely to have a very significant impact on their emotional, mental and physical health and wellbeing.
• The law is clear that a person must have consent before engaging in, and for the duration of, any sexual activity.
• A person is not able to give their consent if they are incapable because of the effect of alcohol and/or drugs, or because they are asleep or unconscious. Any sexual activity in these circumstances is sexual assault or rape.
• The law is very clear that giving consent to sexual activity does not mean consent has been given to any and all sexual activity. It is also clear that a person can say no, change their mind or withdraw their consent at any point.
• To help protect young people, it is an offence for someone aged 18 or over to engage in sexual activity with someone aged 16 or 17 if the older person is in a position of trust. A position of trust is someone who looks after you for example, in a school or a care home.
• Seeking or requiring sexual activity from someone in exchange for anything – including drugs/alcohol, a place to stay, being part of a group, protection from violence – is sexual exploitation, regardless of whether the other person agrees or is thought to have agreed.
• Please see this link for more information - https://www.wrasac.org.uk/young-people-support/

Human trafficking is about the illegal trade of human beings for exploitation, which also includes the offence of slavery, servitude and forced or compulsory labour. A trafficking victim does not have to cross international boundaries. Trafficking can take place within Scotland, in our towns and cities.

See this link for more information - https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/child-trafficking/

Child sexual exploitation (CSE) is a type of sexual abuse. When a child or young person is exploited they're given things, like gifts, drugs, money, status and affection, in exchange for performing sexual activities. Children and young people are often tricked into believing they're in a loving and consensual relationship. This is called grooming. They may trust their abuser and not understand that they're being abused.

Children and young people can be trafficked into or within the UK to be sexually exploited. They're moved around the country and abused by being forced to take part in sexual activities, often with more than one person. Young people in gangs can also be sexually exploited.

Sometimes abusers use violence and intimidation to frighten or force a child or young person, making them feel as if they've no choice. They may lend them large sums of money they know can't be repaid or use financial abuse to control them.

Anybody can be a perpetrator of CSE, no matter their age, gender or race. The relationship could be framed as friendship, someone to look up to or romantic. Children and young people who are exploited may also be used to 'find' or coerce others to join groups.

If you are worried about exploitation please see these link for more information - https://b.barnardos.org.uk/what_we_do/our_work/sexual_exploitation/cse-professionals/wud-u-app.htm

https://www.wrasac.org.uk/young-people-cse/

You are being stalked when a person repeatedly watches, follows or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe. A stalker can be someone you know, a past boyfriend or girlfriend or a stranger.

Please see this link for more information - http://www.actionagainststalking.org/young-stalking-victims.html

Harmful traditional practices are forms of violence which have been committed primarily against women and girls in certain communities and societies for so long that they are considered, or presented by perpetrators, as part of accepted cultural practice.

The most common are

Forced Marriage -

The Scottish Government defines forced marriage as ‘where one or both parties are coerced into the marriage against their will and under duress.’ Duress includes both physical and emotional coercion, ranging from emotional pressure put on victims by family members, to more extreme cases involving assault, being held captive, rape, and in some cases, the threat of murder’. Forced marriage is not the same as an arranged marriage where both parties give their free and full consent.

FGM -

Female genital mutilation is defined as all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs, whether for ritual, cultural or other nontherapeutic reasons. This is not a religious practice.

Honour Based Violence -

Honour is often described as the ‘unwritten book of rules’ by which we all live. Depending on our heritage, for some people this code can be a lot stricter than for others. This is often, the case for people who come from migrant communities, or who are from a religious or traditional family or community. 

‘Honour’ can mean many different things, but it is mostly to do with modesty and traditional rules about acceptable gender roles, behaviour and lifestyle. If people move away from what is considered ‘acceptable’, then they are often punished for this behaviour-and this is what we mean by ‘Honour Based Violence’.

Some people are thought to behave dishonourably if they:

are in a relationship with someone from a different community or someone their family does not approve of

refuse to go through with a marriage arrangement made by his/her family want to get a divorce but their family insist that they should stay married

disagree with their family or community about how they want to live their lives compared to what their family wants

do not want to raise their children in the same way that they were raised

We all have a responsibility to respect each other’s privacy and consent. It is important to be aware that it is illegal to take, share or have indecent images of people under the age of 18, even if they gave permission. 

The only exception is when it’s between two people who are in an established relationship (like a long-term relationship), and they only share the image with each other. Also, the person in the image must be over 16 and have consented to the image being taken.

An intimate image is an image of an act that would be considered to be sexual, something that would not normally be done in public, or where the person is nude or only in their underwear. Taking intimate/sexual pictures and videos without ‘free agreement’ is non-consensual and unlawful. Think very carefully before you ask someone to send you an intimate/sexual image. You should never pressure anyone to send, receive or view a sexual, nude or intimate image or message.

If you share the image with others, you are breaking the law. Think very carefully before sharing intimate/sexual images. Once an image is shared you no longer have full control over it. If you share an intimate/sexual image of yourself with another person you have a responsibility to make sure that you are happy to send it and you know the other person is happy to receive it. If an intimate/sexual image of you is shared without your consent, the person who did this has committed a crime and you have the right to report the matter to the police or tell another adult who you trust. You might feel embarrassed, but the sooner you take action the greater chance you have of restricting the sharing of it.

If you receive an intimate/sexual image privately, do not share it. It is illegal for someone to send an intimate/sexual image to you that wasn’t meant for you. The person in the image did not intend it for you and did not consent to share it with you. Respect the person whose image it is.  Do not show anyone. Do not forward it on – you will be breaking the law. Do not use if for revenge or to hurt someone you are angry with. Don’t feel you have to respond – you can ignore it.

You can speak to a trusted adult to try and limit it being shared any further. If an intimate/sexual image, message or email is sent to you without your consent, the person who did this has committed a crime and you have the right to report the matter to the police or tell another adult who you trust.

If the person sending you things is older or putting pressure on you to send images, it is important that you talk to an adult you trust. If you receive a photo or an image you did not ask for and that you should not have, you can decide to delete the message. But you might think it is best to tell someone about it.

If someone is using the message to harass or hurt you, or somebody else, then it is important to talk to an adult you trust